Monday, January 8, 2007
Resolutions
Seems like a while since I have posted. With the New Year we have a new set of resolutions. A new set of "Changes" we want to make in our lives. Some may be doing things to look better physically, while others may be making changes for their significant other. One of my resolutions this year is to be more Understanding. This is one thing I think we all could benefit from. It seems that we are faced with a new problem everyday, it could be traffic or gas prices going up or what ever else that may come up. Often times our families or significant other may be the cause of some sort of disruption in our lives. For the most part we need to put ourselves their shoes and see what they are going through, we need to be a little more understanding. Lets start the New Year off right and take better care of ourselves and each other.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Love Advice: Love the one you are with
This is such a hard concept for many men and on behalf of men I would like to apologize to all the women, who as Akon said in one of his songs - "Put up with all the bullshit." If you are truly head over heels in live with your significant other, you will not look for love else where.
When I was still in College, it seemed all of my guy friends had driven their relationships into the ground over cheating on their girlfriends. Most were good girls that did nothing to deserve it. Once a friend of mine said "It's all good to cheat on your girlfriend, just cannot do it when you are married." That sentence is half correct. Soon thereafter I began to question the character of many people I hung out with and called my "friends." Relationships are hard work and need constant care and attention. I liken it to a plant, without proper care (water and sunlight) the plant will die, much like a relationship without proper care (love, kindness, respect, patience, understanding, open communication, I could go on and on, lol). Love the one you are with and if you don't show her the respect she deserves.
When I was still in College, it seemed all of my guy friends had driven their relationships into the ground over cheating on their girlfriends. Most were good girls that did nothing to deserve it. Once a friend of mine said "It's all good to cheat on your girlfriend, just cannot do it when you are married." That sentence is half correct. Soon thereafter I began to question the character of many people I hung out with and called my "friends." Relationships are hard work and need constant care and attention. I liken it to a plant, without proper care (water and sunlight) the plant will die, much like a relationship without proper care (love, kindness, respect, patience, understanding, open communication, I could go on and on, lol). Love the one you are with and if you don't show her the respect she deserves.
Remember the Golden Rule
In a relationship it is always easy to breeze on through when things are going great, but that is not the case when you have to endure the rough spots. The past few days have been one of those times. Not so much in my romantic relationship, but in my dealings with others. As I drove home from work yesterday, I thought about how my patience, respect and understanding had been tested constantly through out the day. It all started with an extremely rude customer service representative at a xerox shop and ended with a disrespectful cashier at a local gas station. Growing up we are always taught the golden rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
In our relationship with our significant other, occasionally our patience, respect and understanding is tested in any disagreements or heated arguments that we might have. During these times we need to exercise our mind muscles and not so much our mouth muscles. Reacting to someones behavior could have drastic consequences. In past relationships, if I had practiced a bit of patience, thought with understanding and spoke with respect I would not have driven a wedge between myself and the other person.
The holidays are a busy time, both mentally and physically. Shoppers are annoyed because they may not be able to get all of their shopping done and have to stand in long lines. On the other end, service workers are having to deal with 10 times the amount of customers that they are used to. The holidays should be a time of joy not hurt. Instead of being quick to react, I ask that we all practice a bit of patience, think with understanding and speak with respect.
In our relationship with our significant other, occasionally our patience, respect and understanding is tested in any disagreements or heated arguments that we might have. During these times we need to exercise our mind muscles and not so much our mouth muscles. Reacting to someones behavior could have drastic consequences. In past relationships, if I had practiced a bit of patience, thought with understanding and spoke with respect I would not have driven a wedge between myself and the other person.
The holidays are a busy time, both mentally and physically. Shoppers are annoyed because they may not be able to get all of their shopping done and have to stand in long lines. On the other end, service workers are having to deal with 10 times the amount of customers that they are used to. The holidays should be a time of joy not hurt. Instead of being quick to react, I ask that we all practice a bit of patience, think with understanding and speak with respect.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Little known ways to put the spark back in your love life!
Time and time again we may fall into the monotony of our day to day ritual. After a while, this repetitive routine of work, television and sleep may put a damper on our love lives. Here are just some ways to keep that fire burning...
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Monday, December 11, 2006
To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile
To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile...Reconciliation is something that needs to be carefully considered. I am all for it, if the issues that brought about the separation have been resolved. For example, has a change been made that was needed to move on and create a healthier atmosphere? Did the time and space allow you both to appreciate each other more? Are you in couples therapy to help with the problems you had?
People separate for different reasons. Maybe they needed their own space and time, maybe there is a jealousy issue, maybe there was an affair involved. Whatever the case is, reconciling should come about and be agreed upon by both people. You should reunite with an even stronger bond, otherwise the issues in the past may start to wear it down again. Too many times I have heard, "Well we are getting back together for the kid's sake" or "He will change, he said he will." We need to "show" not "tell" people the change we are going to make. It is true that actions speak louder than words. And if you are honest and truly want to make your relationship work then "show" it.
People separate for different reasons. Maybe they needed their own space and time, maybe there is a jealousy issue, maybe there was an affair involved. Whatever the case is, reconciling should come about and be agreed upon by both people. You should reunite with an even stronger bond, otherwise the issues in the past may start to wear it down again. Too many times I have heard, "Well we are getting back together for the kid's sake" or "He will change, he said he will." We need to "show" not "tell" people the change we are going to make. It is true that actions speak louder than words. And if you are honest and truly want to make your relationship work then "show" it.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Response to In Limbo
Dear In Limbo,
It sort of sounds like you may be the rebound girl. No, you are the rebound girl. He was in a relationship and now is not and avoids the conversation of dating exclusively. While he may be interested, he might not be ready to get back on the horse. Not going out in public and calling late or at odd times equals the rebound girl. He wants the closeness of being with someone without the drama. There is a reason why he is single again. I would try asking him what happened in his last relationship that ended it. If he shares, then that can give you some insight into what he needs to move on. It is also a good sign that he opening up to you. If not, then he might just need some space and time to get some closure. If you are willing to wait it out and take the chance they might get back together and cause you some unwanted hurt, then by all means go ahead. Other wise keep looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.
Ryan
It sort of sounds like you may be the rebound girl. No, you are the rebound girl. He was in a relationship and now is not and avoids the conversation of dating exclusively. While he may be interested, he might not be ready to get back on the horse. Not going out in public and calling late or at odd times equals the rebound girl. He wants the closeness of being with someone without the drama. There is a reason why he is single again. I would try asking him what happened in his last relationship that ended it. If he shares, then that can give you some insight into what he needs to move on. It is also a good sign that he opening up to you. If not, then he might just need some space and time to get some closure. If you are willing to wait it out and take the chance they might get back together and cause you some unwanted hurt, then by all means go ahead. Other wise keep looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.
Ryan
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